Spamalot!

The amount of spam mail I get to my email account is alarming. What's more alarming are the titles, which are often bizarre in the extreme. At best they're funny, & at worst they are mind-bogglingly X-Rated. In between these two extremes there are a variety of incomprehensible, inexplicable & intriguing titles. Having made the mistake of opening one particularly bizarre spam email - I just couldn't curb my curiosity- & downloading about 250 infections, thereby screwing up my computer, necessitating 'system restore' & running all my anti-virus programmes (all of which were out of date so it involved re-subscribing etc., etc.), I no longer open them. I have, however, been keeping a record of some of the stranger ones - here are a few of my favourites:

Is Salmonella So Salon
Realise Total & Absolute Power
The Small Cap Trend
Wolfe Kennith Just Wants To Give You This Hint

And my absolute favourite:

Manually Goldfish

It always makes me wonder who sent them & the circumstances under which they were sent. I imagine various scenarios. There's the classic 'slightly wierd loner' type, who I imagine living in one room (probably a bedsit), surrounded by WWW posters & sitting at his PC for a large amounts of time in order to send spam emails & viruses for his own unknown (but doubtless nefarious) reasons. Another scenario involves 'wacky' first year Computer Studies students, who are doing it "because we can".

Far more sinister are the hundreds of loans I am offered on a daily basis. I picture the senders of these to be the 'financial services' equivalent of blokes called Vince, who would rough you up soon as look at you & say things like "You love your mum, don't you?" as they pin you against a wall with a knife at your throat.

The amount I receive increases literally by the day. For example, yesterday I recived 179 (I counted). Amongst these I was variously offered several loans (see above), 'penis enhancement' (??), & asked if I wanted to get in touch with someone called 'Irina' (answer: no). This necessitates spending a good amount of time deleting them, which is pretty annoying. What I find hardest, however, is restraining myself from opening the more peculiar ones. In the case of ones with titles such as 'Manually Goldfish', this proves a difficult task.